How to detach from other people's BS (while staying cool and classy)

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We’ve all experienced a gut instinct, and lived to regret it when we ignored it. And if you're like me, you've on more than one occasion walked away from and encounter feeling deflated, exhausted and in need of a freakin decontamination shower. I've detailed here three very real and practical ways for you to stay vital, happy and detached from other people's BS.

I know it might start sounding a bit woo-woo, so if you don’t want to entertain that there is ‘energy’ that might impact on you, consider those times you’ve walked into a room and you could cut the air with a knife. Or that time you got trapped at the work party talking to *that* person and felt like you'd been ghostbuster style slimmed...


So use these simple self-supporting practices throughout the day to stay unscathed and maintain your sanity. These are tried and tested ways to stay classy and cool, whether enduring a 60 minute meeting with the office bully, or the surprise life-in-crisis 3 hour coffee/wine catch-up with your bestie.


Kyle Gray (Scotland’s angel whisperer) whose recent book Light Warrior makes it super simple: think of it like you do your nighttime face-cleaning ritual: cleanse; tone; moisturise.


Start with a cleanse. You are aiming get rid, shake off or may be even lobotomize the memory or experiences persisting in your mind.


For a random, non-autobiographical example I totally fabricated (haha!) you might want to rid yourself of the lingering memory (nightmare) of your mother asking you when you’ll get a real job/ secure that home deposit/ stop swearing so much. So the cleanse part here is eradicated the figurative tendrils of wanting and naging which can be done by seeing them going up in flames, burning to ash and cinders. Better yet, imagine taking scissors to this unwelcome ‘leash’, or my personal favourite invisage an epic Samurai sword, a la Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.

In simple terms this is a process designed to cut the crap and anything holding you back, weighing you down and cramping your style or intention for raising your vibe. Do it now, everyday and better yet, do it again before bed and rest eeeeasssy.  


Apply Toner! This part is about focusing in on your innate un-fuck-withable natural born goodness.


Toner is like the polisher, reducing and traces of dirt and grime to reveal the radiant and glowing skin beneath. This is a beautiful way of remembering that though you feel impacted or put-upon by your environment or people at times, you can clear the slate, enforce the boundaries, and claim control over what and and how you let if affect you.

Underneath these experiences, there is a strong and beautiful individual who knows what’s best for vital, happy calm and apply the metaphorical ‘toner’ reminds you of your natural state of love and radiance.


Now moisturise! Pretty much everyone knows about moisturising, designed to hydrate, protect and lock in the goodness!


Let's be honest, most of us don’t tone, and I rarely use a ‘proper’ cleanser, but as for moisturiser - I get a little OCD about it and it’s usually the one thing I make sure happens in my routine. In this three step process however, Cleansing and Toning are equal share partners to make this process golden.

Be it bad-ass Wonder Woman armour, Harry Potter’s invisible cloak or simply a white glowing light, literally imagine an impenetrable thick-ass layer of protection between you and the rest of the world.

Now don’t confuse this with a fort-knox prison where nothing escapes, but more like a discerning, wise shield that intelligently rejects all that is funky (in the bad way) and only let’s the sweet and juicy in.


So whenever you need a refresh, take a toilet break from the meeting/ impromptu late night best pal counselling session and lock yourself in the toilet cubicle and have a figurative cleanse, tone and moisturise.

Use this process to reset your brain, reminding you that other people BS has no place in your life and you’ll not be party, or victim, to it.

No need for confrontations. You’ll be resolute and come off classy and cool - despite the mania happening around you.

Give it a try. It’s one of my favourite undercover tactics when it comes to dealing with crazy-makers! I’d love to hear how it works for you Beauty!