Let’s talk about being heard. Let's talk about giving voice to our heart. Let's talk about stepping into our truth and acknowledging who we really are and what we really stand for.... Yup - I bet this causes about 90% of you to swipe away, close the window or run for the hills.
It might surprise some of you to read that writing this piece feels like an act that sits well outside my ‘comfort zone’. Nevertheless…
fully inhabiting our voices and the bodies that carry them, is terrifying for so many of us.
The reasons why are manifold, complex, unique and also common, unifying and collectively experienced the world over.
But this post isn’t about the why (the past), it's about the where, and how to, of moving forward.
For the longest time it’s been terrifying, if not downright dangerous to step into our truth as women. Being fully in our womanly bodies has been mediated, controlled, censored and silenced for so long.
As someone who has always had the impulse to disagree, argue or reject ideas that felt ‘wrong’ or controlling or incongruent with my own instinct and feelings - I’ve been called every name under the sun for daring to speak my truth.
It goes on… And I know I am not alone.
My daring opinionated-ness wasn’t because I was fearless. Nor was it because I felt safe to speak my perspective. It was survival.
I now know that, with the aid of much therapeutic support and self-understanding, my resistance to being quiet, being appropriately ‘feminine’, arguing, being shouty, and not controlling myself - these were all acts of defiance and resistance.
I also know that these were acts of holding on, staying afloat and weathering the storm.
These were acts of survival.
What I now also know, is that sometimes these were also ways in which I (attempted to) process emotions.
So let’s dive deeper…
Emotions. What does the word conjure?
Are you numb? Are you the opposite - like a flood without a dam?
Are you a Beauty that has walked away from many a conversation and ruminate for days, frustrated that you didn't really speak your truth?
I know, because I have. I sometimes still do, but it is less and less.
Let me tell you in honesty and with love, that emotions are your sacred, sacred superpower Beauty.
I know, because I've been on a purposeful, powerful and potent emotional energy journey for years.
I now know that emotions are truth.
Emotions are healing.
Emotions are our soul's way of speaking directly to us.
Despite what popular mindfulness training and Buddhism would say, my experience is that emotions actually bypass the ego / intellect and act from a powerful non-verbal place of embodied wisdom.
Emotions are our compass when navigating the storms of our life.
Raw, honest emotions have the power to expose deep, buried inner feelings and narratives which, in time, provide a springboard to transformation.
If you are not already the captain of your ship, what might it feel like to be a woman who:
Embodies her truth;
Asks for what she needs;
Says what she feels;
Acts in accordance with values she has self-determined;
Freely chooses that which brings her in harmony with her soul?
Does a life like this call you?
Do you believe it is a fantasy?
Let me tell you, and affirm, that you deserve a life that is sovereign, love-centred and safe for you to express yourself truthfully and completely.
You are Oh. So. Worthy.
I want to see you soar Beauty. I want all women to be liberated and exalted to the throne of their chosen Queendom.
Here is one simple step that you can take on a daily or hourly basis if necessary, to support intentional action towards affirming your sovereignty, honouring your heart and speaking your truth.
In the powerful and potent words of Brene Brown, “choose discomfort over resentment”.
Sounds too big?
Start saying "No" to small things (I wrote a blog on which you can read here).
For example, “No thank you, I’m sorry I can’t make it to the event Sunday.”
“Oh thank you so much for thinking of me, but maybe another time.”
Sure it’s easier just to say yes, but we need a starting point for getting comfortable with the discomfort.
Getting comfortable with discomfort (ie. emotions) is the springboard to a fully embodied and self-loving life.
Little "Nos” will eventually grow confidence and courage for bigger, more complex “Nos”.
“No Mum, I won't be coming for Christmas this year.”
“Actually (insert Manager’s name), I did follow up with the team and no one came forward with contributions ahead of the deadline.”
“(Insert Significant Other’s name) speaking honestly, I felt dismissed when you tried to justify your behaviour just then. I don’t feel this is fully resolved.”
Annoyingly, this work cannot be outsourced. And I know it’s not easy work, but it is our personal work to do.
As women rise collectively, let’s ride the momentum together.
Let’s become masterful at identifying tensions points in our lives and embracing the truth and full experience of our emotions.
This is the path to rich, luscious embodiment and living in the vortex of self-love.
Any questions, or want more support on this? I’d love to hear from you Beauty...