There is a whirlpool of ‘do more, be more’ online messaging going on now as we reach peak entrepreneur/ mumpreneur/ digital nomad/ online business/ side-hustle BS. It’s god damn exhausting and often times, misleading and demoralising.
NB. If these things really are your true calling and lighting your fire, then godspeed Beauty and may the winds of success carry you long, and far. But in all honesty, these non-stop clickbait articles telling you to up the ante are nothing but a tool for distraction and intimidation keeping you in a cyclical though pattern of ‘I’m not good enough’ consumption and self-pity. And if not thoughtfully engaged with early on, could spiral out of control and get you into a whole lot of messy, stressing requiring some serious intervention (just see the South Korean rehab programs for adolescent-aged smartphone addiction).
Let me help you with this one: stop the comparisonitis. Period. Seriously, stop comparing yourself to every other Suzie, Jane and Patsy, including and especially (!) the former, younger/prettier/slimmer/smarter/whatever version of yourself you imagine to have come before!
Now this is bloody hard. Especially as most of the time you don’t even realise you’re doing it. One minute you’re scrolling through instagram and loving someone's holiday snaps, or delicious looking bowl of vegan something or other and the next thing you realise that your breakfast was a stale piece of toast with nutella, and you don’t have a holiday booked for another 8 months and in truth it’s a visit your parents where you’ll stay in your childhood room, meticulously preserved to resemble the aesthetic loved by your 17-year-old self.
So before you keep scrolling, Facebook stalking and whatever the hell else you like to self-flagellate with to reinforce your ‘not-enoughness’, take a freakin’ breath. And stop.
This is where, on a really practical level we can and MUST use the concept of ‘mindfulness’. See it as thinking about thinking. Intercept the thoughts. Halt them right there and then. Catch yourself and become the observer. Notice how your ‘see, then react’ process bypassed the part where you see your friends insta snaps and think, “Woo-hoo that’s great for Sally, she really deserves a nice break”.
Take ownership of the way in which you allowed your mind to retreat to a dark, critical place, where someone was (perceived) to be doing better/more than you currently are. Recognise that in an instance, you were the one who decided that you weren’t good enough.
Once you admit that your mind brought you to this critical juncture, ask yourself, is that ‘story’ even true?
Who says your nutella and toast breakfast isn’t fucking great? And you know what, maybe you secretly love going home to your parents for a rest and a dose of healthy nostalgia.
Most importantly, remember that social media is a carefully crafted and curated construct. And that the authors intentionally project a certain type of self/service/product image of ‘reality’.
We need to learn to listen to the beat of our own drum. It’s unique and perfectly designed and timed to the music of your soul. It might be a nice samba, or maybe it’s a Barry White style funk - hell it could be a Gregorian Chant. Whatever it is pay attention, because it’s uniquely and beautifully yours.
Tell me, what are you proud to claim about your authentic life this week Beauty?